Want your kids to clean their rooms without a fight? Helping around the house or doing homework to be simple not a struggle? The power is in the words you use.

In my one day workshop Intuition 101 we begin this conversation about the power of words, the energy that is created with our words and the effect it has on us, our family and the environment around us. The conversation is deepened and layers tested in my longer program Practical Magic. 


Words have an energetic vibration, they make us feel a certain way. When we feel we take actions based on those feelings, and those actions create the world around us and how we interact with it. 

Words have the power to create a magnetic pull for inspired action or resistance for forced action that is like pushing a boulder uphill. 

Pushing boulders or magnetic pull?

We set up the environment for pushing boulders when we use language like “should, must, have to”. This takes away the power for another to create for themselves. Essentially it takes away the creativity and self confidence from our children and teaches them that others and outside circumstances dictate their behaviour and life. Sound a little dramatic? Start to notice how your kids, or other adults, react when you use the words, “you should” you have to” or “this must be done”. I am not saying it’s healthy to let their rooms grow mold or that family chores are a thing to be ignored, not at all! I am saying that we want to give our kids tools that will serve them now and into the future, and giving them the sense of confidence and empowerment that they can create is a powerful gift.

Shift in perspective 

Let’s look from a new perspective. What if getting their room cleaned came from their values, goals and priorities instead of a demand? 

Knowing that one of their values is freedom you could say, “Would you love to feel more freedom in your room? Picking up thing from the floor would leave you more room to dance around or invite friends in” Or “Cleaning up the clutter in your room would really help it feel peaceful and give more space for creativity.” Words such as freedom, feel, dance, friends, peaceful, space and creativity will have the energy of their values and goals. 

Another way is to simply ask them to stand in the middle of the room and take a deep breath, ask them “How do you feel in here now? How would they like to feel?” This has the added benefit of connecting them to their intuition at the same time. 

Planting a seed

Be prepared for any answer that comes up, and really listen to them without holding the judgement that you are right and any other answer is wrong. (this can take practice) and remember you are planting a seed, they will start to notice how they feel once you have helped them make the connection. I use this process to get myself to do the dishes, I don’t like doing dishes, but I love the feeling of tidy and expansive. When I get in touch with those feelings it is obvious what needs to be done. The pull to do the dishes becomes magnetic rather than restrictive and forced.

Tell them how you feel while in their room, and why it is important to you that you keep it tidy. This will take some reflection on your part, and be honest with yourself. You may also come to the conclusion, much like I did, that I am not really attached to their room condition but don’t want to look bad and that I don’t like clutter myself. 

Share with them why you like your room or house a certain way, have a discussion about it over dinner. Link it to their values, your family values and the priorities you have. This creates a magnetic pull rather than forced uphill battle. 


Words have an energetic frequency that effects our bodies and moods. Sit now and close your eyes, take a deep breath and repeat the words, “I should”, “I must do that”. How do they feel? Where do the words sit in your body? Does it bring up memories or voices from the past? Strung behind it are there feelings of lack and inadequacy if the action is not taken? These types of words are restrictive and when heard from a parent, teacher or boss they often lead us to believe that we have no power or control. We are not the author of our story, but rather outside circumstances dictate our life. At the root they simply feel yucky! 

Now shake it off! And again take a breath, now say the words, “I love”, “Possibility”, “I plan to…”. Where do these words sit in your body? How do they feel? 

Notice today how often you use words such as, should, must, need to, have to. Are you getting the results you want by using them? Do you feel good when saying them? 

Ask yourself and family, How do you want to feel today? What can we do around the house to help make that feeling come to life? 

Put a note of the fridge, “How do you want to feel today?” Let others write down how they want feel. Both written and spoken words create energy in the environment, and the addition of declaring our desired feeling will magnify that energy and create a magnetic force to bring it forth. 

Interested in more details about the power of words? My families favourite is the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto, with books such as The Hidden Messages in Water, and Messages from Water and the Universe. When my children were little we did the experiment of rice and words, saying positive words to one jar of rice and mean words to another, the outcome was astonishing. 

Blessings,  (a very high vibration word!)


Joanne Moore